Coaching means many things to many people. Many times a certain technique that is referred to as coaching isn’t really coaching at all–it’s actually counseling or feedback.

You may have heard or had this happen to you. A manager will say, “Let me give you some coaching around ABC,” and they proceed to explain to an employee why they failed to accomplish a task. The manager then explains the way ABC needs to be done. More times than not, the recipient of this so-called coaching walks away disillusioned by what they think was a coaching experience, and perhaps deflated and unmotivated. As a result, coaching can get a bad rap and employees may begin to disengage.

So what does a real coaching conversation sound like?

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